By Jon Leon
I'm at the mall with Sasha. He's wearing new Marithe + Francois Girbaud jeans held in place with a braided leather belt. The slack tip of his belt is looped twice at the waist and hangs toward his crotch. He's sort of sagging wearing a t-shirt that says Just Do Me above an upside down red swoosh. I'm talking to some babes from out of town in front of a large cardboard display of Lady Gaga and this one girl is like uh hot and kind of slutty enough. She's 16. I'm like Do you want a Fanta, and we go to the food court where I try to finger her a little bit under the table next to Doc Wok's. We go to the multiplex and see a movie starring Megan Fox and I text Sasha "2nd base," kind of high. I lick my lips coming out of the theater into dusk and drop her off at her aunt's duplex. Go home to the exurbs, time out, and tweet forever or never.
I realize I have no people skills when 3 people walk by and I stare at my Nano. They're my family. A song from another era comes on. It's the same song I heard at the mall. The people go inside and rummage through the dishwasher while I listen to tinny beats and vocoder. I think about saying Hi, how was the movie, Did you go to Macaroni Grill? But I go in my room instead. The sixth room on the left upstairs with a Wii and The Fame Monster poster. I look at myself in the mirror that faces the window and see ten dozen other houses just like this one. Then I lie down on my bed and watch Heathers.
I try to lighten up with a joint and a hydrocodone. My legs buckle and I fall off the stool into a line of elves at the mall. It's Christmas. My wife is in Sephora and I'm so zonked right now I can't tell how old these girls are who work at H&M. I think we're in the valley and it feels like 200 degrees when I emerge into a parking lot the size of Yellowstone with a tanned fox I coaxed out of Sbarro. We sit in the van listening to "Alejandro." She hits crank off my dash and starts to spasm. I'm scared 'cause I see my wife coming out of Nordstrom with a red balloon that says Happy Anniversary, and I'm so high I don't realize this girl is like 16 until I see her ID as she's splitting a line with it.
I spend most of my time partying. I don't even feel into the mix until I'm at a party. The mall is closed so I end up at this house party drinking Budweiser from a can and mouthing off about cars. Then I see 2 girls I want to take back to my place. Do you want to go back to my place I slur. They say Sure, and we go back to my place and do stuff to each other. They're both wearing oversized sweaters with plunging v-necks, gray wife-beaters underneath the v-necks, no bra, and tanned hot tits. "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich" is blasting from a Bang & Olufsen tacked to the wall. We're in a waterbed. I cum all over their tanned hot tits. I get up and stand in front of a mirror in tiger-striped briefs and a fat elephant chain, smoking a Montecristo and thinking about the good times.
Author Bio: Jon Leon is a Los Angeles-based writer. He is the author of Wrath of Dynasty. (Mal-O-Mar Editions, 2009), Hit Wave (Kitchen Press, 2008), Alexandra (Cosa Nostra Editions, 2008), and The Artists Editions: 2006-2010. His poetry and criticism have appeared widely in periodicals such as Fence, The New Review of Literature, , East of Borneo, and . He currently runs the boutique publishing house